Dying to Self and the Nature of Sacrifice

June 6, 2008

In many circles, we hear the call to sacrifice, to “die to self” as a means to love in ever greater ways. I think there are some things that are helpful to clarify about the concept of “dying to self.” First, I think dying to self is really a matter of being merciful to others. We need to be careful when applying the concept because dying to self can too easily fall in the “self”-absorption our culture seems to espouse. It loses the “other” person perspective and short-circuits any sense of community which one should rightly be trying to build. Thus, “sacrifice” under the strict “dying to self” program can become associated with what I am doing to improve myself without necessarily having any concern for the community in which I live. If there is concern for the community, it can too easily take the form of “if I improve myself, the community will be better for it automatically.” While, admittedly, this seems to contain some internal logic, it does so from a “self”-ish perspective. Focusing solely on the self as it does, it fails to allow for how the community can and actually does play a role in the formation, development, and improvement of a human person.

Self-improvement in this manner takes what I think can be coined a “trickle-down” love. It starts with the idea that if I love myself first and foremost, then others will be loved automatically as a result, receiving what is left over after I love myself first. Now stop and think about this for a minute. Can you imagine what the world would be like if God’s love was actually a trickle-down love? God’s love as described in the Bible contains nothing of a trickle down effect at all. God’s love is a pouring out, an overabundance of love that is overwhelmingly poured out to the very least of us as much as it is to those who some consider to be greatest among us.

Isn’t it interesting? We talk of the benefits of trickle-down economics, yet God deals with pouring out all of His love in an abundance of blessing upon us. Trickle-down love, if it follows the model of trickle-down economics, would imply that God, the source of love, would keep all the love that he needed for himself before allowing any to trickle over the edges of his being. That would mean that the life of his Son, poured out to us on the cross, was not abundance, but simply over-flow. How can we make that claim?

I believe the way that God loves us is opposed to the idea of trickle-down love. Unlike trickle-down economics, the economy of God deals strictly with abundance. He’s certainly not a cheapskate when it comes to pouring out his grace and blessings upon us, and most definitely his mercy. His way of loving leads to the development of the human person within a community of love. It suggests that when “I” love others, I will more truly discover the love for which my “self” longs. It starts with focusing how to best love others first, not the other way around.

From experience we know that what is usually most needed when we love another person is mercy for the beloved, not simply self-sacrifice. Sacrifice will follow soon enough after the constant giving of mercy and does not need to be sought as a thing in itself. What we need to strive to do is be faithful to God’s call in our life; to love other people however He calls us to do this. This will almost always require the application of mercy at some point, and in giving mercy we may indeed sacrifice something of ourselves. (See the blog entry "I Desire Mercy" for more on mercy.)

I Desire Mercy

June 2, 2008

(From Matthew 9:9-13) “Go and learn the meaning of the words, ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’”

This sentence comes as part of Jesus’ response to some Pharisees who had asked why he was eating with tax collectors and sinners in the story of the call of Matthew, the tax collector. I think this means that, once again, Jesus is delineating two ways of life. On one hand, the gift of mercy and what it means to live a life of giving mercy, and on the other hand, the meaning of Sacrifice in the hands of those who attempt to justify themselves before God and others.

I think there’s a difference, a big difference, between making a sacrifice and accepting a sacrifice in one’s life. And I believe Jesus is trying to distinguish those who ‘make sacrifices’ as means of justifying themselves or their actions. A person in this way of thinking (perhaps these were the Pharisees in Jesus’ day) would rest on a self-prescribed life of sacrifices – usually or always ones of their preference – and hold up what they had given up or done without as proof of their righteousness.

I think there’s a limitation here and it is allowing the person or causing the person to fail to live out of their fullest being. In a sense, I would say this path leads to a type of mediocrity that leaves the person under- or un-developed in the spiritual sense and possibly even on the order of human development. It’s a self-justification trap: “Look God, look at what I gave up for you, or for my family, or kid, or neighbor.” Any position of justification that demands or expects acknowledgment or compensation in the form of some spiritual gift, or status within the community, or even a feeling of these things, reveals itself as an attachment to something worldly. What is sought, even if attained, will not last beyond this life—even if it makes it as far as the end of one’s life.

I think Jesus is showing us something more. “I desire mercy.” Unlike sacrifice which takes the negative connotation of something absent – given away or gone without – mercy is a more positive action or gift of oneself. It requires giving from the fullness of one’s person and is not a lack of anything but a giving of everything. In order to give mercy to another, one follows a path of spiritual detachment. Mercy implies spiritual detachment because it is a true gift from oneself. It does not expect or demand a specific outcome or to be compensated. Mercy lies at the heart of unconditional love. Mercy as I have tried to explain it really is giving from the fullness of one’s person. This is a mature consequence of unconditional love, a love that takes the “other” to heart and desires their greatest possible development in freedom.

So what is the difference between making a sacrifice and accepting a sacrifice? Again, if we’re not careful, ‘making a sacrifice’ can easily devolve into self-justification. I think ‘accepting a sacrifice’ a better image and a truer reflection of Christ’s own sacrifice, the gift of mercy through the gift of his life offered on the cross. In ‘accepting a sacrifice’ one chooses to live out of the fullness of their person in giving constantly the gift of mercy. In the process of giving ever more fully of themselves, they will almost certainly experience challenges and consequences of their gift. In a sense, giving the gift of their life is their vocation. The consequence of living this fully in this world may mean death, but the consequence of living a life of mercy in the Kingdom of God we believe means eternal life.

Following the will of God by living fully their vocation and making a gift of their lives to others will lead to ‘sacrifices’ which result from their life, or from their vocation. Look at Jesus. He completely and perfectly followed the will of his Father—to the point of death on the cross. That sacrifice of his life was not something he sought for himself, but rather, it was the result of following to the fullest the life of mercy that His Father willed for him. You can almost clearly understand the topic line here now. God desires the mercy that Christ gave the world. He did not desire that his Son should die, but He accepted that this would happen as a consequence of living a life of mercy in a world that shuns it far too frequently.

I believe that Jesus is telling us as Christians, that we should not seek sacrifice in our life, it will come naturally enough when we choose to accept God’s will of living a life of mercy towards one another.

Welcome!

Welcome to my new blog. Obviously, there's not much here yet, but stay tuned. I intend this blog to focus on reflections and discoveries emerging from the study of Christian Spirituality. But, there will also be a dash of poetry and some humor thrown in for good measure. We'll see how it goes!