Dying to Self and the Nature of Sacrifice

June 6, 2008

In many circles, we hear the call to sacrifice, to “die to self” as a means to love in ever greater ways. I think there are some things that are helpful to clarify about the concept of “dying to self.” First, I think dying to self is really a matter of being merciful to others. We need to be careful when applying the concept because dying to self can too easily fall in the “self”-absorption our culture seems to espouse. It loses the “other” person perspective and short-circuits any sense of community which one should rightly be trying to build. Thus, “sacrifice” under the strict “dying to self” program can become associated with what I am doing to improve myself without necessarily having any concern for the community in which I live. If there is concern for the community, it can too easily take the form of “if I improve myself, the community will be better for it automatically.” While, admittedly, this seems to contain some internal logic, it does so from a “self”-ish perspective. Focusing solely on the self as it does, it fails to allow for how the community can and actually does play a role in the formation, development, and improvement of a human person.

Self-improvement in this manner takes what I think can be coined a “trickle-down” love. It starts with the idea that if I love myself first and foremost, then others will be loved automatically as a result, receiving what is left over after I love myself first. Now stop and think about this for a minute. Can you imagine what the world would be like if God’s love was actually a trickle-down love? God’s love as described in the Bible contains nothing of a trickle down effect at all. God’s love is a pouring out, an overabundance of love that is overwhelmingly poured out to the very least of us as much as it is to those who some consider to be greatest among us.

Isn’t it interesting? We talk of the benefits of trickle-down economics, yet God deals with pouring out all of His love in an abundance of blessing upon us. Trickle-down love, if it follows the model of trickle-down economics, would imply that God, the source of love, would keep all the love that he needed for himself before allowing any to trickle over the edges of his being. That would mean that the life of his Son, poured out to us on the cross, was not abundance, but simply over-flow. How can we make that claim?

I believe the way that God loves us is opposed to the idea of trickle-down love. Unlike trickle-down economics, the economy of God deals strictly with abundance. He’s certainly not a cheapskate when it comes to pouring out his grace and blessings upon us, and most definitely his mercy. His way of loving leads to the development of the human person within a community of love. It suggests that when “I” love others, I will more truly discover the love for which my “self” longs. It starts with focusing how to best love others first, not the other way around.

From experience we know that what is usually most needed when we love another person is mercy for the beloved, not simply self-sacrifice. Sacrifice will follow soon enough after the constant giving of mercy and does not need to be sought as a thing in itself. What we need to strive to do is be faithful to God’s call in our life; to love other people however He calls us to do this. This will almost always require the application of mercy at some point, and in giving mercy we may indeed sacrifice something of ourselves. (See the blog entry "I Desire Mercy" for more on mercy.)